Good Old Fashioned Al Bhed Mischief
by DeLyse
Summary: The beginning of a collection of pranks and accidental mishaps from the one and only Rikku. Chap. 3 – Yuna & friends decide to take a break and watch clouds, while Rikku rides to the travel agency for barbuta bites. Something is bound to happen!
1. 01: Morning Spray

**Good Old Fashioned Al Bhed Mischief** – A collection of pranks from the one and only Rikku.

_(Disclaimer: I Don't own anything.)_

The campfire had long since died sometime within the night, but the little roaring fire within Rikku was almost out of control this morning. Her dimples deepened as a grin played at the corners of her mouth as Auron placed a hand on his sake jug and looked at everyone there. The morning sun seemed to make Yuna's soft, brown hair shine like gold. Beside her, a sleepy blond haired, blue eyed young man yawned loudly, stretching out his limbs with a quiver. Lulu, Wakka, and Kimahri had awoken before the two, leaving Lulu to cook a bit of breakfast for everyone. No one hardly paid any mind to the Al Bhed girl with them, whom was trying her best not to explode with uncontrollable giggles.

She pressed her lips together hard, holding back the force of laugher that pushed hard against her chest, begging to come out loudly and clearly, and tried not to look to obvious. The wait would be worth it, if she could just hold on until it happened…

"Breakfast," Lulu called in her soft, calm voice, and Yuna aided her in passing out the food. It wasn't much – just a bit of leftovers from the passing night.

A portion was passed to Rikku, whom shook her head and waved her hand in response. "No thanks…" She bit her lip, her face beginning to flush pink as she struggled to win the giggle battle within her.

Auron took the top off of his sake jug and looked at Rikku with a confused frown. He knew that if she was fighting back laughter, something bad was about to happen to one of them. "Rikku…what's the matter with you?"

It sounded more of a demand than a question, but she somehow swallowed her urges and tried to breathe normally. "I'm fine. Just, um…thinking about this insane dream I had last night!"

"It wasn't about flan pudding, was it?" Tidus asked, his attention fully on her.

He had just given her a good reason to let out some of her laughter. Should she take it and let some of the pressure off of her, but risk losing some of the impact for when the time came to let it out? _No,_ she decided firmly. _It will be too good to lose laughter over when it happens…_ She allowed herself a fake little chuckle before answering. "No… Was I talking in my sleep again?"

"You said something like nasal flan pudding, or something," Tidus answered, putting his hands behind his back casually.

Everyone wrinkled their noses at him, officially grossed out, and Lulu suddenly stopped eating and gave her portion to Tidus. Rikku watched as the Legendary Guardian shook his head and looked away, bringing the sake jug to his slightly parted lips. The Al Bhed's face turned beat red now, as though she was really going to explode this time, and Auron froze in place with an eye focused solely on her. She was trying to avoid looking at him, but couldn't help it as she placed a hand over her lips and pressed hard against her mouth to keep her laughter from escaping.

"…What is the matter with you?" he repeated, staring right at her now. Rikku shook her head, keeping her eyes down and away from everyone, finally mumbling out an excuse that sounded like, the dream, or similar. He waited for a few moments, and it seemed as though everyone's eyes turned to the crunched up little blonde girl. Finally, he sighed and gently shook his head, then brought the sake jug back up to his mouth and tipped it back.

Auron's eyes went so wide that everyone around him could see the tiny red veins that circled around the whites, and a spray of liquid shot out of his mouth and all over anyone who was in front of him. Rikku finally let it all come out, and her burst of laughter startled the birds above them and sent them flying away in fear. She fell to the ground, howling and holding her stomach, as everyone except Wakka, whom had been to Auron's right and was not in the line of the spray, glared directly at the girl.

_"__RIKKU__!!"_


	2. 02: The Case of the Missing Bra

Everyone cowered in fear as Lulu's piercing eyes swept across the group. One hand was dominantly on her hip, adding to her already frightening air. The other hand was held up angrily in front of her, a pair of lacy, black panties dangling from the tip of her long, lacquered nail. "Where is it – someone tell me _now_." There was no question in her tone. It was a demand.

Rikku, whom had first been waiting from her spot between Kimahri and Yuna for something to happen, now did not think anything was funny anymore. Lulu could be terrifying when she was angry, and right now she was _enraged_. Even Auron looked uncomfortable about the whole ordeal.

"It matches these panties," Lulu continued, her tone dangerously low. When no one came forward with a comment or answer, she picked up her Onion Knight doll and scowled. "Don't make me get physical."

"Eh, wouldn't it be more like 'magical'-"

"-_Tidus_," Lulu interrupted warningly, causing him to jump in fright. "This isn't funny…so someone tell me where my bra is. _Now_."

Again, there was nothing but silence. Rikku was beginning to feel her palms sweat, and the hairs on the back of her neck stood in fear. She was starting to think that taking Lulu's bra and placing it in someone else's pack was a very bad idea after all.

Lulu stormed over to the first person she suspected of the crime – Tidus, the smart-alecky Zanarkandian. He leaned back in panic, causing himself to fall backward off of the log that served as his seat. "Where _is_ it, Tidus?" the black mage growled, her face a mere inches from his now as she towered menacingly over him.

"I-I didn't!!" he sputtered back, holding his hands up in front of him to protect his face.

"Tell me!"

"No, I-I didn't take anything!!" he cried out, wincing. He waited to get blasted in the face with a powerful spell, but none came. Carefully, he opened his blue eyes and looked cautiously around, but Lulu had moved away from him and was now back to her original position before everyone.

"This is stupid," she spat, looking over each person in disappointment. She pointed to Yuna, and the Summoner flinched. "I know you wouldn't have done this, Yuna, so get behind me."

The Summoner nodded, trying to remember the last time she felt so scared of her Guardian, which was never. Until now. Once she was safely out of Lulu's firing range, a powerful wave of relief washed over her.

Lulu looked around the camp further, studying each person, until her crimson eyes stopped on Kimahri. "I know you would never do something like this, Kimahri. You may get behind me, as well."

The Ronso nodded, looking as though he hadn't been fazed at all by the event. But he had. After carefully and safely making his way behind the dangerous black mage, he stood protectively by Yuna, just in case Lulu decided she wanted to explode and take everyone out with her.

"You." Lulu pointed to Auron, whom stood cautiously and joined the small group behind her. She then looked over at the remaining party of Tidus, Rikku, and Wakka with a deep glare. "One of you is guilty… One of you took my bra… I need that bra – you _don't understand_. I _need_ it. And if I don't get it…I will HURT YOU."

The three before her flinched. Rikku was now faced with a serious dilemma. Should she confess to the crime and pay with several rounds of Thundaga, or keep quiet and pray to machina that she didn't kill them right then and there?

"Alright. Fine. Seeing as no one knows where it is, I will have to look through your bags." Lulu picked up the front of her dress and stomped over to the first sack – Rikku's. The bra wasn't in there, so the thief would be safe for now, but she did have a few items there that she didn't want anyone else seeing, so she did object to it.

"No, wait!" the Al Bhed cried out, jumping to her feet. Every eye singled onto her, and she whimpered.

"Ah-ha… It was _you_," Lulu spat, her voice resembling a growling lion who found its prey.

"No, I mean – no, my stuff is in there!" Rikku sighed, balling her fists at her side. "All my stuff is in there," she explained again, "and, um…you know, stuff that's private."

Lulu still looked suspicious, but she dropped her venomous gaze and gave Rikku a slight nod. "I still have to look, but I won't speak a word of anything I see inside."

That was good enough for Rikku. She would much rather have that happen than admit to stealing the undergarment, for the lashing would be one to remember for all time. She sat back down on the flat rock and kept her fists at her chest nervously, watching the black mage sift through her belongings quietly. Once she was finished, she turned and pointed to the teen. "You may go stand over there with the others."

Whew. She made it, just barely. Once she was safely with the others, instinctively staying just behind Kimahri and Auron, she watched with renewed amusement as Lulu went to the next sack.

"Go ahead, I don't have anything in there," Tidus remarked, trying to keep his calm as Lulu dug through the sack. At one point, her eyes widened slightly, and she looked up to give him a momentary look of disgust and bewilderment. Tidus only chuckled nervously. When Lulu was finished, she announced that there was nothing of hers in there and ordered him to stand by the others. He, also, stood behind Kimahri and Auron, just in case.

Lulu set her gaze to kill as she glared at Wakka. The man was looking utterly relaxed, as best as he could anyway, and waved a casual hand to his sack. "Go ahead – you know you won't find nothin' in there, ya?"

"We will see."

The black mage searched through the bag by Wakka's feet, and after a few moments she stopped. Everyone waited in anticipation. Rikku could have sworn that even Auron's dismissive expression had a little curiosity hidden somewhere in there. Finally, Lulu looked up at Wakka, but with her back turned toward the rest of the group, they could not see if she was giving him a death gaze or another form of stinging hatred. To Rikku's astonishment, she stood and turned back to everyone with an apologetic look on her face.

"Please, forgive me." She bowed deeply. Everyone sighed in a chorus of relief, but Rikku was the only one who didn't join in. "I just remembered that my bra is in the very bottom of my bags… I'm sorry."

Slowly, everyone walked back to their seats and sat down quietly. Rikku didn't budge. Why did Lulu admit to a lie? She never lied… Rikku had hid the bra in Wakka's bag the whole time, and it was in a very obvious place, too! What was going on?

The black mage eventually made her way gracefully toward the little thief, a smirk hidden within the coldness of her features. Rikku couldn't help herself. She had to ask, to find out why Lulu had lied and ruined the hilarious beating that Wakka would have taken. "You _did_ see it in there, right?"

Lulu nodded softly, a grin slowly forming on her plum colored lips. "Yes."

Rikku frowned, disappointed, and put her hands on her hips. "But why did you lie about it? Why didn't you beat him up?"

"I would like to see the look on his face when he finds it tonight," Lulu replied quietly.

The black mage turned and walked back to the others calmly, leaving Rikku to stand in confusion. _That doesn't make any sense_, she thought. Her plans had been totally spoiled, and she had been thinking about that trick for days! _Grrr__…._

With a pout, Rikku walked back over to her seat and plopped down, obviously upset. Eventually, everyone began to talk comfortably again, as they had done before the missing bra incident. That's when the thief suddenly noticed something out of the corner of her eye. Lulu was sitting closer to Wakka. She was smiling to herself, though it seemed as though no one else saw it. The Al Bhed put a hand over her mouth as she gasped, realized that Lulu _liked_ Wakka. _Holy __machina__…_

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Credit for this idea goes to my good friend __Faithanne__, whom helped me to think of this in the first place. She said she was going to write it, but never did, so I took the initiative and I'm giving full credit to her. Much loves, __Faithy-Waithy!_

_PS_

_Haven't you always wondered what would happen if Lulu exploded one day? -giggles-_


	3. 03: Just Another Day in the Calm Lands

_(Disclaimer: I do not own anything, nor would I ever claim to do so. This disclaimer not only applies to this chapter, but to every chapter of this fic, as well as every story I have ever written and posted on .)_

The sun beamed down on the party in an endless array of light and warmth, bringing smiles to some faces and comfort to the most all of them. It was a perfect day in the Calm Lands, one that Yuna had insisted on relishing before they continued on her great pilgrimage, and seeing as she was the boss, they all listened without falter. Besides, after spending most of the day searching for a chimera that seemed to have disappeared off of the face of Spira, and still not finding it, they were all ready for a nice, relaxing break.

They all decided on an ideal location right by the cliffs, where the view was breathtaking and the winds coming in from the west would bring new scents to their tired senses. A few of their chocobos protested for food and water, and while Kimahri and Tidus tended to their needs, Yuna and Wakka helped set out a large blanket to spread out over the tall, wild grass. Rikku delved perkily into her bags, more than happy to contribute to the peppy little break time, and began pulling out snacks and other food stuffs that no one ever knew she had. After laying them all out on one corner of the blanket, she stood to her feet and dusted her hands.

"I think I'm all outta barbuta bites, so I'm going to run and get some more," she announced, checking to be sure that her claw was firmly attached for the short journey.

Lulu turned, tilting her head slightly. "Barbuta bites…?"

"Yeah, they're sooo good! Just wait til you try some – I'll be right back with 'em!"

Yuna turned and held out a hand to stop her cousin. "Wait, Rikku. Why don't you take one of the chocobos?"

"Good thinkin'," Wakka chipped in, throwing his hands casually behind his head. "Everyone knows that you can't get into an encounter when you're on a chocobo, ya?"

The Al Bhed thought this over for a moment. True, she could ride one of the chocobos they had rented for the day and get to the travel agency in a flash without having to worry about monster encounters. But, then again, she was horrible with the big, yellow birds. Absolutely terrible. And they had all grown so powerful from the constant battles that she felt she could almost take on Sin by herself. In any case, the chocobo she had been on before when the group first began riding around had nearly bucked her off of its back, and she half suspected that it was already plotting to kill her in her sleep now.

"I don't know if mine likes me," she finally confessed, glancing at the bird that had been assigned to her. Its piercing little beady eyes seemed to cut fear right into her with a precision that only a true master of archery could hope to grasp.

"You can take one of the others. I don't think it'll matter," Lulu suggested helpfully.

"Yeah…yeah, that's a good idea," the blonde finally agreed, a finger to her chin. Cautiously, she made her way over to the flotilla of chocobos and looked them over. They all looked the same to her. How was she supposed to pick out the friendliest one when they all looked exactly alike, she wondered?

From out of nowhere, the color red appeared in front of her vision, and Rikku jumped as she looked up into Auron's eye. She sighed with frustration. "Don't scare me like that!"

"Try this one," the warrior monk said, pulling the reins of a chocobo closer to her that didn't seem to protest against him. When Rikku saw this, she knew that it would be the only one she could ride. Anything, man or animal, which obeyed Sir Auron without complaint, could not be capable of defying a teenage girl. No way. She was totally nicer than him, and prettier, and lighter, too.

"Thanks, Auron!" she cried, truly surprised by his courteousness. "I guess you're not so much of a dint vyla after all."

"A what?"

Rikku laughed nervously. "Nothing!" Before Auron could say anything else, the girl hopped onto the great, yellow bird and took off unsteadily, only looking back once to wonder if riding a chocobo to the travel agency was, again, a good idea or not.

The red-clad guardian sighed, looking down at the ground. Rikku was a good girl, had her bright moments, and would do anything to keep her cousin from sacrificing herself, but sometimes she could be a little too much. It was nice to have a small break from her, even if it were only for a few minutes.

"Sir Auron!" Yuna called from behind him. He turned to meet the faces of Yuna, Wakka, and Tidus already sprawling themselves out on the blanket. "Join us, please."

With a nod, he sat down on the topmost corner of the blanket. Once Yuna, Tidus, and Wakka were situated, Lulu came and joined them, followed by Kimahri, whom preferred to stay on the grass beside Yuna. Finally, a half a day to relax for our future heroes of Spira. No one had any fear of being attacked by fiends, as they had nearly wiped them all out during their side-pilgrimage to find the chimera brain, and not one of them thought about Sin, or Jecht, or Spira's pain. All eyes stayed on the lazily passing clouds above them.

"Look, up there!" Yuna pointed to the sky, smiling at the image she made out in the clouds. "I see…a turtle!"

Tidus laughed freely, holding his stomach. "A turtle?" He laughed some more while he searched for what Yuna had seen, but none of them could make out any turtles in the sky. "Well, I think I see a really big boot."

As most of them began to search for the supposed boot and turtle in question, Kimahri suddenly grunted. "Kimahri see peace and justice at hand of Ronso."

"Are you sure that's not just an oddly proportioned chocobo?" Yuna asked, holding a dainty hand over her mouth to keep from giggling too loud.

Kimahri thought about it a moment, then smiled. "Kimahri think Yuna could be right."

Everyone laughed easily, as though there were never a care at all to be had. Even Auron could not help but allow a small smirk to show. The only person not enjoying themselves, whom seemed to be too lost in cloud-observing to hear what anyone else was saying, was now frowning. "I only see a bunch of clouds," Lulu replied finally, her frown deepening.

"I see blitzballs!" Wakka pitched in, attempting to cheer Lulu up a little. He gave her a grin for good measure.

Yuna, still laughing a little, propped herself up on her elbows and looked over to the legendary guardian. "What do you see, Sir Auron?"

With a ghost of a smile, he searched the sky. "I see…" Movement to his right caught his eye. He squinted hard, just making out the figure in the distance. "…Rikku?"

Everyone sat up, confusion lacing their faces, and searched in the direction of Auron's gaze. Far, far off across the plains to their right, holding onto her chocobo for dear life, was was the crazy, fun-loving girl they all had come to know and love. She was still pretty far from them, but as she came closer, they could finally hear her high-pitched shrieks and ear shattering screams just before they were carried off by the wind. Something was chasing her, they realized. A chimera.

With a small gasp, Yuna sat fully up and looked at Auron. "What should we do…?"

"…Let's draw straws." The entire party looked to him in shock. "We are all powerful now – powerful enough to take on the fiends here by ourselves. It's my belief that only one of us needs to go and help her." When they remained quiet, looking down in consideration, he added casually, "Rikku could have handled this by herself…if she would have calmed down first and dismounted the chocobo, of course."

After the thought sunk in, they realized he was right. "Okay, then," Lulu replied, looking around the grassy area for suitable stalks of grass to substitute for straws. "Drawing straws sounds like the fairest way." After they were all gathered, making sure to make one of them shorter than the rest, the black mage knelt before everyone on the blanket and held out her fist of thick grass blades. They chose their straws. Auron pulled the shortest one.

"Figures it'd be the one who didn't want to go save her in the first place," Tidus joked, laying back down on his back. Yuna joined him, giggling and commenting on how bad he was.

Wakka laughed loudly before turning to Auron. "Good luck."

"I'll be back shortly," he assured them, taking up his enormous katana before stalking off in the direction of the screaming girl.

* * *

_**A:N:**__ If you haven't noticed, this collection of short stories kind of jumps back and forth in time, and I'm sorry if it causes confusion. This is just a pile of silly stories that aren't supposed to have any real direction except for the direction they take themselves. Regardless, I hope you all enjoyed this one! I wrote it to reflect my own personal experience in the Calm Lands, when I was attempting to get a chimera for the monster arena, and it just would not come out! I fought so much that I became ridiculously over-powered, and it got to the point where Rikku was one-shotting everything. I thought it would be cute to write it as though she got into trouble, yet again, but it was a situation so easy to handle that no one would really treat it with immediate urgency. More like, "Oh. Rikku's in trouble again? Okay. sigh Let me get my coat."_


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